Folie à Deux
by thesewarmstars
Summary: Written as a gift for Torino 10154 for the Snarry Holidays. I took Torino's prompt of 'meet the family' and ran with it.


**Title:** Folie à Deux.

**Author:** thesewarmstars.

**Snarry Holidays Giftee:** torino10154.

**Word count: **~7,800.

**Rating: **NC-17.

**Warnings:** EWE, rimming.

**Disclaimer:** All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Basically, I took Torino's prompt of 'meeting the family' and ran with it.

**Author's note:** Many thanks to atypicalsnowman for beta reading and hand-holding, and to WhiteCotton for Brit-picking.

"It's just one day, for Merlin's sake! A couple of hours. Would it kill you?"

"It might," Severus answered, then took a sip of his wine. "Are you willing to take the chance?"

Harry rolled his eyes and pushed his peas around on his plate. "Do you have to be at Hogwarts for Christmas? Is that it? Because I could come up to the castle if it is."

"No, my presence will not be required for Christmas. Filius will be there."

Scowling, Harry speared a piece of steak with his fork. "Why, then?" He just didn't get it. He had no one to spend Christmas with, Severus had no one to spend Christmas with – it seemed like a no-brainer. "Do you still dislike me so much?"

Severus scoffed. "Yes, because I am so quick to share meals with people I despise."

They sat in silence for a moment, considering the fact that Severus regularly had three meals a day with hundreds of students he couldn't stand and several employees he barely tolerated. Harry grinned, then laughed outright when the corner of Severus' mouth quirked up.

"Touché," Severus conceded.

"But you still won't spend Christmas with me."

Severus shook his head. "No."

Harry sighed, saddened by the thought of Severus spending Christmas all alone in his pokey little house. "Well, we're still on for next week, right?"

"As ever."

xxx

The next Sunday, Harry met Severus with renewed determination. "So, have you changed your mind yet?" he asked as soon as they sat down.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Concerning?"

"Christmas, you prat. There's no reason we shouldn't spend the holiday together." He shrugged, adding, "I think you're just being contrary."

"Contrary, am I?"

Harry smiled. "Usually, yeah."

"Then I would hate to disappoint. No, I will not join you for Christmas."

"But – "

"You seemed to manage just fine on your own last year."

"Don't be stupid. You know I was at the Weasleys' last year."

"It is hardly my fault that you were not invited this year."

Harry sipped his water. "No, s'pose not. To tell you the truth, I think Ron's more pissed at me than Ginny. I tried to tell him, tell all of them – "

"But they would not believe it until they saw photographic evidence in the _Prophet_," Severus finished for him.

Harry sighed. "Let's be fair – it was _Witch Weekly_."

"Though, honestly, what possessed you to perform oral sex on a man you hardly knew in a dark alley in the middle of – "

"I was drunk, all right? I'm twenty years old and I should be able to suck off anyone I please, but I know it was stupid and I don't need another lecture. Certainly not from you." Harry huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Besides, the picture only showed a bit of a grope."

"Calm down, Harry. I've no intention of lecturing you."

"Oh. Well." Harry dragged a hand through his hair. "Good."

"I've likewise no intension of joining you for Christmas."

xxx

"Well, there you are!"

Severus stood in the doorway, eyes wide. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"I've been trying to find you all fucking day," Harry groused. He moved to follow Severus into the house, but the man didn't budge. Frustrated, Harry threw up his hands. "First I went to your house, but you weren't there. So then I went to Hogwarts and searched around all over the place."

"I informed you I would not be there," Severus pointed out, but Harry paid him no mind.

"And I finally found Flitwick, and he gave me this address. Where the fuck is this, anyway?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Number seven Chestnut Way."

"I _know _that, you prat," Harry said, rolling his eyes. "Whatever, never mind. Christmas is the day after tomorrow, and seeing as I've no one to spend it with and you've no one to spend it with, it makes perfect sense – "

"Severus?"

Harry broke off and watched with unveiled curiosity as Severus turned toward the entryway, toward the distinctly feminine voice calling his name. He craned his neck, but couldn't see the woman.

"What have you done with the muffin pan?" she asked.

"It's in the cupboard with all the other pans. Has everyone in there gone blind? Go away, Miri."

"No need to get testy, Sev."

Severus turned back to face him and, for a moment, Harry could do nothing but gape at him. When he finally found his voice, it was to say, "Did she just call you Sev?"

"Kindly state your business and be on your way. Apparently, I am needed in the kitchen."

"Severus?" came another voice from inside, "Miriam said there was – Oh, hello." The woman glanced between Harry and Severus. "Who's your friend?"

"He is not my friend, and he was just leaving," Severus answered.

"Look, I don't really know what's going on here, but I'm not leaving until you agree to spend Christmas with me," Harry said, trying to look like he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Christmas, hm?" the woman said, "We'd love to have you for Christmas! Just drop 'round about one."

"I… What?"

"See you then," she said, apparently oblivious to Harry's confusion, and gave a little wave. On her way back in, she called, "And we don't do pressies until after dinner, so be sure to bring along whatever you have for Severus!"

"What… Who the fuck was that?"

"Aunt Mimsy," Severus answered with a slight frown.

"Did she just invite me for Christmas dinner? Wait, you have an aunt?"

Severus sighed. "As you see."

"Huh."

They stood for several seconds looking anywhere but at each other before Harry spoke again. "So, should I bring some wine or something?"

xxx

When Harry finally knocked on the door, after having stood on the front step biting his lip for quite a while, an older man greeted him. "Oh, you must be Severus' friend."

A muffled but distinctive voice from inside yelled, "I told you, he is _not_ my friend," but the man seemed to take no note of it.

"Come on in, son," he said, motioning for Harry to follow him. "Name's Mortimer. Pleased to meet you."

"Er, hi. Nice to – "

"Oh, Harry, there you are!"

Mortimer gave a put-upon sigh as he led Harry into the sitting room and nodded toward the woman who'd greeted him so exuberantly. "I'm sure you remember my wife, Mimsy."

"Of course he does!" Mimsy cried.

Harry gave a nervous smile. "Yes, of course. Nice to see – "

"So you're Harry, huh?" interrupted a man, who looked to be somewhere in his thirties, as he entered the room. He looked Harry up and down then shrugged his shoulders. "You could do better."

"Beg your pardon?" Harry asked, but he was drowned out by Mimsy's indignant 'Milton!'

"This is our boy, Milton," she said, turning to Harry with an apologetic smile. "Don't you mind him, dear."

"Er, right. Good to meet – "

"Oh, goodness me!" cried yet another person, a dark-haired woman this time. It was Miriam, if the voice was anything to go by. "Here, let me take that," she offered, holding her hands out for the bottle Harry was carrying.

"Oh, right. It's, er, not anything special. Just some – "

"I'm sure it's lovely," she said, already heading back out of the sitting room. "I'll just pop this in the kitchen."

When yet another head appeared around the doorframe, Harry barely resisted the urge to shout, 'For fuck's sake, _another_ one?'

"Anyone seen Malcolm?" the man asked, glancing around the room. "Oh, hello there. You must be Harry."

"He said he was going to the loo," Mimsy said. "Didn't he go to the loo? Mal!" she shouted, cupping one hand around her mouth.

"I'm Scott, Miriam's husband," said the new man, sticking his hand out for Harry to shake.

"I'm Harry. But you, er, knew that already. Pleased to – "

"What, Grandma?" said a little boy as he skidded to a halt in the middle of the room.

"Where've you been, young man?" Mimsy asked.

"Go on in the kitchen," Scott said. "Your mummy's been looking for you."

"No running in the house!" Mimsy called after Malcolm as he bounded from the room.

"Oh, leave him be. He's six years old – no amount of yelling is going to stop him running in the house," Mortimer said.

"Where was this attitude when I was a kid?" Milton asked.

Harry looked around, shifting his weight from foot to foot, wondering what in the world he was supposed to be doing. He had a feeling it might be rude to just sit down somewhere without being asked.

"Oh, you poor dear!" Mimsy said, waving her hand at Harry. "You must be wondering where your Severus is."

Before Harry could protest that he didn't actually have his own, personal Severus, she was shouting, "Severus! Sev, come here and say hello!"

A moment later, Severus came in drying his hands on a towel. "Merlin, Uncle Morty, do you not have _any_ control over that woman?"

"No, son," Mortimer said, "No, I do not."

Finally, Severus met Harry's eyes and Harry couldn't help but grin and take a step toward him. "Hi! Oh, I'm so – "

"Severus!" a voice called from the direction of the kitchen. "Get your arse back in here. Are you _trying_ to ruin Christmas? The bread is burning!"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Coming, Mother."

As Severus whirled to go back to the kitchen, Harry gaped. His _mother_? He was beginning to wonder if he knew anything about Severus at all. Over a year of weekly suppers, and he hadn't once mentioned his mum!

"Don't worry, dear," Mimsy said. "I'm sure you'll get a proper hello out of him sooner or later."

"In private, preferably."

"Milton!"

Miriam poked her head into the room. "Is Malcolm in here?"

"I thought he was in there with you?" Mimsy said, then yelled, "Mal!"

"I'm here!" Malcolm called as he ran into the room. "What, Grandma?"

"Your mummy wants you."

"Run upstairs for me," Miriam said, "and wake up Grandpa Reg from his nap. Tell him dinner's almost ready."

Fucking hell, there was another?

"Is that where dad got to?" Mortimer asked.

Malcolm made a mad dash for the stairs and Miriam turned back to the kitchen. Harry decided he might as well follow her. "Is there anything I can do to – ?"

"Oh, I think everything's just about ready, but thanks."

"Well, maybe I could just – "

"So you're Harry, are you?" said a woman, whom he could only assume was Eileen Snape, when they entered the kitchen.

She fixed a disapproving glare on him and he looked to Severus for help, but he was at the stove, his back to Harry. "Erm. Well, I – "

"I trust you've met everyone?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "My brother, Mortimer, and his wife, Mimsy. Their children, Milton and Miriam. And, of course, Miriam's husband, Scott Brown, and their son, Malcolm. My father, Reginald Prince, should be joining us momentarily." She pressed her lips into a thin line and gave him a look that was almost a challenge.

Harry gulped. "You have a lovely fami – "

"Come on, Aunt Eileen, let's leave these two alone for a second. You can scowl at Harry all you like later. The poor things haven't even had a chance to say hello, and I'm sure they don't want us watching whilst they do." With that, Miriam grabbed a dish in each hand and ushered Eileen out.

After what felt like ages, Severus finally put a lid on the pot he was tending and turned to face Harry. After the bustle of the sitting room, it seemed awfully quiet.

"Er, hi. 'S good to see you. Happy Christmas," Harry said softly.

Severus nodded. "To you as well."

Harry fidgeted with the hem of his jumper. "I, erm… Thanks for inviting me."

"I didn't, if you'll recall."

A voice from the sitting room called, "No shagging in the kitchen!"

"Milton!" Severus' indignant shout matched his aunt's, and Harry tried not to grin. Severus scowled and said, "He's never much cared for me," by way of explanation.

"Imagine that," Harry replied. "So, why didn't you ever tell me you had all this family?"

"You never asked."

"How was I supposed to know to ask?" Harry demanded, waving his hands. "Most people would have mentioned them at _some_ point in the course of a year-long friendship!" He paused to roll his eyes, remembering Severus' repeated protestations to his family. "Oh that's right, I forgot: we're not friends."

Severus hid his slight wince well, but Harry saw it anyway.

"Look, we _are_ friends, right? I'm not just imagining it?" Harry didn't know what he'd do if Severus actually said no, because at some point in the last several months, this friendship he wasn't even sure existed had become the most important in his life.

"If you are, then it is a _folie à deux_."

"Huh?"

Severus huffed and rolled his eyes. Crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter, he said, "Madness of two, a shared delusion."

"Ah. So… that's a yes, then?"

"Merlin, but you're thick."

"Severus!" called a voice Harry thought belonged to Mortimer, "Come on, bring your boy in here."

"'M not a boy," Harry grumbled as he followed Severus and his basket of bread out of the kitchen. They headed not back to the sitting room, but to the dining room, where the table was already set.

"Well, there you are!" Mimsy cried, ushering Harry to a seat between Severus and Mortimer before returning to her own across from her husband and between her two children. "Thought you'd never come up for air," she muttered.

Harry was about to ask what the hell she was talking about when the old man at the head of the table – Severus' grandfather, Reginald, he presumed – spoke.

"Harry, is it?" he asked with narrowed eyes. Before Harry could answer, he added, "And what is it you do for a living?"

"Erm, well. I'm training to be an Auror. Nearly finished, though."

"Ah, a man with ambition," Reginald said. "Whereas Severus here is still a schoolteacher."

"Headmaster, actually," Severus muttered.

Harry narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to defend Severus, but Milton, who sat across from Harry, spoke first. "That where you found him, Sev? Detention?"

Harry's mouth fell open in shock and he saw Severus stiffen beside him.

"Milton!" Mimsy admonished. She turned to Reginald with a pleading glance. "Time we said grace, don't you think?"

Once that was done and everyone had filled his or her plate, blessed silence reigned for a while. It was obvious to Harry how tense Severus still was, and he tried to convey his support by giving Severus' thigh a friendly pat, but that didn't seem to help.

The increasingly uncomfortable quiet ended when an argument broke out between Miriam and Malcolm over whether he would be eating his carrots or not.

"They're orange!" Malcolm protested.

"They're good for you," was Miriam's counter.

"But… they're _orange_. And mushy."

"Eat half of them," Miriam conceded.

Malcolm scowled, but picked up his fork when his father said, "Do as your mother says."

Scott looked over toward Harry and Severus. "So, where _did_ you two meet?"

"Detention," Severus deadpanned, and Harry wasn't sure if he should blush or laugh. He settled for rearranging his peas with his fork then, for good measure, took a big bite of turkey.

"Now, Severus, don't be like that," Mimsy said. "I, for one, am glad you found each other. However it happened."

"First time our Severus has ever brought anyone home," Mortimer said to Harry, then grinned. "Well, except that little red-haired girl he tried so hard to convince himself he was in love with. Isn't that right, Sev?"

Harry turned to find Severus blushing furiously and gaped. "Oh God. My _mum_?" he hissed under his breath.

"When we all knew he was much more interested in that Thompson boy," Miriam added, smiling. "Except Severus, of course."

"Leave _off_, Miriam," Severus grumbled.

"Bloody pouf," Milton muttered.

"Language, son," Mortimer said, nodding toward Malcolm.

Severus seemed to be attempting to melt into his chair, and Harry began to wonder if they might be serious. Was Severus really bent? He was torn between indignation that Severus apparently never told him a bloody thing and… well, he settled on calling it curiosity.

"Severus?" he asked under his breath, but Severus just shot him a dark look then gulped down half his glass of wine.

"Is it times for presents yet?" Malcolm demanded suddenly, and all eyes turned to him.

"Don't you want dessert first, sweetie?" Miriam asked.

Malcolm frowned. "Can't we have pudding _and_ pressies?"

"Food stays at the table, Mal," Scott said in a tone that made Harry suspect a long-standing argument.

"Yes, Dad," the boy answered with a sigh.

"Fetch the pudding, would you, Miri?" Mimsy asked.

"Sure, Mum."

"Severus, should you not see to the eggnog?" Eileen said, more an order than a suggestion.

With a nod of his head, Severus quaffed the rest of his wine and followed his cousin to the kitchen, not making eye contact with anyone.

While they were gone, silence reigned in the dining room. Harry glanced around the table with a tentative smile, but it faded when he caught Eileen's look.

She was glaring at him, brows drawn together and lips pressed into a disapproving line, and Harry had no idea why. Had he made some sort of faux pas without knowing it? Did he have something on his face? He gave her a worried, curious glance, but her scowl only increased.

He was just on the verge of asking her what in hell her problem was when Miriam came in with the flaming pudding and Malcolm started clapping his hands. All eyes save Harry's and Eileen's were trained on Miriam and the blue-purple flames as she made her way through the dining room.

Just as she set the dish on the table and the flames finally flickered out, Harry saw Eileen's gaze dart over to the doorway. With visible effort, her features relaxed somewhat, and Harry followed her eyes to see that Severus had returned.

He stood framed in the doorway with one hand raised to rest on the jamb, and Harry felt his heartbeat accelerate with how relieved he was to see him again, even though he'd only been gone a couple of minutes. His stance served to accentuate the long lines and angles of his body, and Harry found his mind overwhelmed by one repeated thought: _Severus is gay_.

He tried to correct this thought to 'Severus _might_ be gay', but for some reason that version didn't sit quite as comfortably in his head. He was somewhat taken aback that he apparently wanted Severus to be gay.

"Well?" Reginald snapped, "Sit down, Severus, so we can get on with things."

Harry gave himself a mental shake as Severus returned to his seat and refilled his wine glass. After all, it wasn't as if it mattered either way.

He ate his pudding mechanically, taking a sip of wine every third bite until both were gone. It was difficult, but he managed to fight the urge to sneak fleeting glances at Severus. Mostly, anyway, which he decided to count as a success.

The moment Malcolm had finished his pudding, he looked up with hopeful eyes. "Presents?" As soon as Reginald looked like he was probably about to nod, Malcolm was off like a shot.

Bemused, the adults followed him into the sitting room and found that he had already begun to create little piles for each person. By the time they had all dipped a cup of eggnog from the bowl, he was sitting on the floor by the largest pile, practically vibrating in excitement.

As they settled in, Harry was surprised to see that even he had a couple of gifts waiting for him at the edge of Severus' modest stack. He felt an inexplicable surge of warmth in his chest when he saw Severus' name on one of the tags.

While Severus unwrapped several items of clothing – mostly socks – from his family, Harry picked the paper off a gift labeled 'For Sev and Harry, from Aunt Mimsy and Uncle Morty'. He couldn't quite figure out what sort of present they might share, so it was a surprise when he opened the box to find a crystal serving platter, as he had no idea how they would manage to share _that_.

He also had no idea why Reginald was just sitting there glaring at the platter in Harry's hands, or why Eileen was scowling so ferociously at Mimsy.

"Hey, Severus. Look what your aunt and uncle gave us," Harry said, holding the platter out so Severus could see.

Looking up from his pile of socks and scarves, Severus raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'gave us'?"

Harry just shrugged and pointed at the tag, and Severus turned to sneer at Miriam, who was beaming at them.

"Oh, by the way," Harry said, digging around in his pocket, "This is for you." He handed him a small, square box and Severus turned it over in his hands.

"You didn't have to – "

"I wanted to."

As Severus took his time opening his present, Harry couldn't help but notice the rapt attention most everyone was giving them. Reginald and Eileen looked horrified, Milton looked disgusted, and Mimsy looked like she was liable to burst with excitement at any moment. Harry didn't know what the big deal was.

When Severus finally moved to open the little black box on its hinges, Mimsy clapped a hand over her mouth, muttering, "Oh my God, oh my God," over and over, and everyone else either stared harder or looked away.

Studiously ignoring his family, Severus pulled the tiny vial from the box. Mimsy made a face like someone had killed her dog, Milton grumbled, "Thank Merlin," and Severus held the vial up to the light to examine it.

"This is… exquisite," Severus breathed, rubbing his thumb over the etchings in the amber-colored adamant.

Harry grinned, beyond pleased with himself. The woman who'd sold it to him had said it was very rare, and that some of the coolest potions could only be stored in vials like this one, but he had still worried Severus would think it terribly unoriginal.

"However did you manage to find this in just a day?" Severus asked, seemingly oblivious to his family's collective sigh of relief, excepting Mimsy, who seemed to be pouting.

Harry tried to raise an eyebrow, but he probably just made himself look daft. "I've had it for over a month, Severus."

"Oh. I… oh." Severus darted a glance to his gift for Harry. "I'm afraid yours was rather last-minute. I would have – "

"It's fine," Harry interrupted. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll love whatever you…" Harry trailed off as he pulled the lid off the box and found nothing but a slip of parchment inside. A five Galleon gift certificate to Slug and Jiggers Apothecary, to be precise.

"Oh. Well, this is… useful."

"Did you get him a _gift certificate_?" Mimsy hissed, and even Miriam took her attention from her son long enough to scowl at Severus.

"Harry, I – "

"This is great. It'll keep me in potions ingredients for a month." More like a year, Harry thought, given how often he actually bought ingredients, but Severus didn't need to know that.

Harry noticed that Severus' cheeks were tinged a bit pink and couldn't help wondering if it was from the two glasses of wine, two cups of eggnog, and whatever he might've had before Harry got there, or… well, something else.

"Really, Severus, it's great," Harry said, leaning forward to place a conciliatory hand on his forearm, but Severus jerked away from his touch.

Milton snorted a laugh and Severus turned a scowl on him. "Something funny?" he demanded.

"Oh, nothing," Milton answered, smiling, then turned to Harry. "Told you you could do better, mate."

"Hey! Severus is a good friend," Harry protested.

Milton laughed. "Well, I think that pretty much says it all, doesn't it?"

Severus stood suddenly, cradling his cup. "I need another drink."

"Well, then," Mimsy said with forced cheer, "Is everyone all done? Miri, help me Banish all this paper, would you?"

"Sure, Mum. The rubbish bin outside?"

"As good a place as any," Mimsy said, and they started waving their wands.

While they took care of the mess, Harry tried to figure out what had Severus so out of sorts. He wasn't usually one to care about, or even notice, the social niceties, so it seemed weird he should be so concerned about getting Harry a crap present. Maybe his family's odd looks were finally getting to him.

After far too short a time, the rubbish was cleared and everyone was back in his or her seat, and they all looked around at each other in awkward silence.

"So," Mortimer said finally, "How long have you two… known each other?"

"What, about ten years?" Harry answered. "Nearly."

Eileen's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head, and Mimsy very nearly choked on her eggnog.

"I might have known," Reginald said with a sneer.

"I tried to tell you," Milton said. "I told you someone like _him_ in a school full of innocent children was a recipe for disaster. I told you all, but none of you would listen."

"Milton, be reasonable," Miriam said softly. "You're twisting his words."

"Don't tell me to be reasonable! You heard him, Miri – ten years. He's barely legal _now_! I told you he was dangerous."

"Don't be daft!" she hissed.

Severus was looking very intently at the wall, clutching his cup in a white-knuckled grip, so Harry took it upon himself to respond. "Look, is this about Severus being a Death Eater? Because that was a really long time ago, and I think he's been through more than enough to pay for it since then. I couldn't have defeated Voldemort without him," he said, jutting his chin out in defiance.

Scott's jaw dropped ever so slightly. "Wait just a – What did you say your last name was?" he asked, darting a glance to Harry's forehead.

"Merlin's sake, Severus, you didn't tell them who I am?"

"Not _everyone_ considers your celebrity your most important feature," Severus answered, sipping at his eggnog then staring into the cup.

The incredulous expressions of everyone in the room were disrupted when Malcolm's new toy truck crashed into a side table.

"Oops," he said, scurrying over to retrieve it. "This is no fun. Why can't there ever be any kids to play with at Christmas?" He looked over at Severus. "When are you and Harry going to have some kids?"

His only answer, save Harry's indignant, incoherent sputtering, was silence.

"What?" Malcolm asked, looking around at everyone before turning his attention back to Severus. "You don't wanna have kids?"

Mimsy dragged her wide eyes away from Malcolm and narrowed them at Severus. "Why didn't you _tell_ us he was The Boy Who Lived?" she hissed.

"Hate that name," Harry grumbled.

"I fail to see how it's relevant," Severus answered, slouching into the sofa. He was becoming more sullen by the second. Harry figured it was the eggnog.

"You fail to…!" Mimsy waved her hand as if to encompass the universe. "Of course it's relevant!"

"Leave them alone, Mum."

"But Miri! Don't you want to know what he's doing with our Severus?"

Harry smiled at her calling him 'our Severus', then scowled when he realized it sounded like they were saying he wasn't good enough to be friends with Harry. "Just what are you – ?"

He stopped short when Severus stood up suddenly. He knocked back the rest of his eggnog then, sneering, pronounced, "I'm going to the loo. If anyone would like to carry on humiliating me, that's where I'll be." With that, he slammed his empty cup on the side table and stomped out of the room.

"Well," Miriam said after a few moments of oppressive silence, "I should go see to the dishes."

"Yes," Mimsy said, rising to follow her, "Let me help you with that."

"I'll lend a hand, too," Scott chimed in.

"Believe I'll step outside and have a smoke," Mortimer announced.

"I'm with you, Dad," Milton said.

A bit bewildered at the sudden exodus, Harry glanced around the sitting room. Malcolm was nowhere to be seen, and Reginald was slumped in his chair, snoring – it was just Harry and Eileen.

He gulped. He was alone with Eileen Snape, and she was giving him, he suspected, her best scowl.

Well, he hoped so anyway, because if it got any scarier, he might think she was trying to hex him with her eyes.

Oh, there it was! She was eye-hexing. He tried not to cower.

"It's high time we had a chance to speak."

Harry wondered if she had practiced making ordinary people into nervous wrecks with just her tone of voice, because if that was what she was going for, she was doing a hell of a job.

"I'd like to know just what it is you think you're doing with my son."

"What, erm…? What do you mean?" Harry asked, sitting on his hands to keep from fidgeting.

She narrowed her eyes. "You cannot possibly be as stupid as you appear."

Good Lord, she sounded just like Severus. "I'm sorry, I just don't – "

"Do you care about him at all?"

He dragged a hand through his hair. "Well I, erm. You see – "

Her expression turned downright thunderous. "Do you love him?"

Harry started. Love? She wanted to know if he _loved_ Severus? His heart rate shot up and his breath got a little ragged. Fear for his life, he figured.

"Well?" she demanded. "It's not a difficult question. I cannot put it any simpler."

He blinked, trying to get a hold of himself. She was right – this should be easy. It was a simple yes or no question.

So what was the answer, then?

"If you're playing with him, so help me – "

"No!" Harry cried. "No, of course not. I could never do that."

She pressed her lips so thin he couldn't see them anymore, but she didn't reply.

Harry wasn't sure if he was glad to have a moment to think or not. He knew he was in no shape to answer any questions, but thinking about this was doing funny things to his chest. Could it be? Had she seen something he hadn't? But no, she couldn't possibly know something like that when Harry himself didn't even seem to know.

Apropos of nothing, she said, "If he's not in love with you yet, he's well on his way." When Harry just gaped at her, as his brain seemed to have taken a short hiatus at her words, she added, "If you hurt him in any way, I'll see to it you wish you'd let He Who Must Not Be Named kill you when you had the chance."

"Merlin, Harry, you're grinning like a loon," Severus said, leaning heavily on the doorframe. "What have you done to him, Mother?"

"Nothing too dire, I assure you," she answered, giving Harry a pointed look. "We were just having a little talk."

Severus' eyes widened fractionally. "Were you? Hmm. I think I need another drink." Slowly, carefully, Severus crossed to the table holding the bowl of eggnog.

"Do leave some for the rest of us, won't you?" Eileen said with a frown, but Severus seemed to be ignoring her.

From the look on his face as he ladled liquid into his cup, though, it was possible he simply couldn't spare any concentration for her.

Harry's eyebrows went up. "Merlin, Severus, are you drunk?"

"Certainly not," Severus answered, stumbling slightly on his way to the sofa. Eventually, he reclaimed his seat beside Harry and set his cup carefully on the side table. "What has she been telling you, hm? It must have been something particularly embarrassing for me, if it had you looking so gleeful."

He had not been gleeful! Not at _all_. He squirmed at the accusation.

"Well?" Severus said, turning to his mother. "Did you tell him about the time I fell and broke my ankle running away from Milton? Or how you all thought I was a squib until I got my Hogwarts letter?" He wrapped his arms around his chest, scowling. "Or did you just say how you knew I was bad from the start, how you should have known I'd turn out to be a disappointment? Did you tell him he deserves better?"

"I told him you were a right bloody prat who likes to run his mouth off about my only son! That's enough, Severus."

Harry looked back and forth between the two Snapes, marveling as Severus' expression turned positively melancholy. "Wow, Severus, you really are drunk."

"No more than reason," Severus replied.

"Are you quoting Shakespeare already, Sev?" Miriam asked as she came back into the room. "Didn't realize you'd had so much to drink. Bit early for that, don't you think?"

"Leave me alone," Severus groused.

"It _is_ pretty late, actually," Harry offered.

Severus turned to Harry with a scowl. "I don't need you to defend me, Potter."

Harry blinked at that, a bit taken aback. Severus hadn't called him Potter in months, and he was startled at how much it stung. "Well, you don't have to get snippy about it."

"Oh, stop pouting. Just because you're pretty doesn't mean I have to be nice to you."

Harry's eyebrows jumped up into his hairline and Miriam chuckled. "I think it's past _somebody's_ bedtime," she said, tugging Severus up from the sofa.

"Not a child," Severus grumbled.

"Of course not," Miriam cooed at him, then turned to Harry. "Careful with him on the stairs, all right?"

"Beg your pardon?"

"Oh, don't be embarrassed," she said, smiling at him. "No one's going to be scandalized if you two share a bed. That's all there's room for, anyway."

Harry blinked. "I… erm. That is to say, I hadn't thought to – "

"He seldom does," Severus interjected, and Harry broke off to scowl at him.

"Oh, nonsense!" Miriam said, waving her hand. "Of course you'll stay for Boxing Day. Come on, now. Upstairs, the pair of you."

"Er, right," Harry muttered as she steered them toward the stairs.

"Second door on your left," she said, and then she was gone.

"Sleep well," Eileen drawled, and then she was gone too.

"Well," Harry said, his stomach fluttering distractingly, "You want to go on upstairs, then?"

One side of Severus' mouth quirked up in an approximation of a smile. "Did you just invite me to go to bed with you?"

Certain he was blushing furiously, Harry just took Severus' elbow and guided him up the stairs.

The silence stretched until Harry, having successfully navigated the stairway, closed the second door on the left behind them.

"So, Harry," Severus said as he sat on the end of the bed, "What did you think of the Prince family Christmas? Enough drama for you?"

"More than," Harry answered, toeing off his shoes. "I didn't understand half of what they said, but I'm not sure they like me very much."

"Nonsense," Severus said. "Aunt Mimsy adores you. Just wait until tomorrow – she'll be picking out China patterns."

"Look, Severus," Harry said, fidgeting with his jumper hem, "You mother said… she told me… you know, that – "

"Oh, just spit it out!" Severus snapped as he started undoing his buttons.

Harry took a moment to drag his eyes away from the triangle of pale flesh revealed at his throat back to his face, then said, "She seems to think you might be in love with me or something."

Severus paused for a second on the fourth button down before he continued. Looking very intently at the wall, he said, "Mum always did talk too much."

Harry felt his heart clench. "So… erm. You… you don't fancy me, then?" he asked, attempting nonchalance.

"Not to worry," Severus said harshly, "You've nothing to fear from me." He pulled the last button from its hole and jerked his shirt off, tossing it into the corner.

"Wait a minute," Harry said, trying not to let himself be distracted by Severus' bare chest, "You _do_ fancy me?"

"Christ, Harry, would it be _so_ terrible?" Severus barked, then immediately turned his attention to his shoelaces.

It wasn't until Severus had removed his shoes and his socks and started in on his belt buckle that Harry found his voice again. "Severus?"

"What?" Severus snarled, ripping off his belt.

"I… Do you…? I mean… Oh, fuck it," Harry said, lunging forward and fastening his lips over Severus'. He curled one hand around the back of Severus' head and ran the other over his chest, correcting the angle of his head so Severus' nose didn't press quite so sharply into his cheek and letting his tongue dart out to lick at Severus' lip.

He pulled back just enough to see Severus' face and trailed a finger over his cheek.

Severus blinked at him owlishly. "Oh," he breathed.

"Yes," Harry said, pausing to pull his jumper over his head, "Oh." He was just about to move back in for another kiss when Severus grabbed him by the shoulders and rolled him onto his back, stretching the length of his body over him. Groaning, Harry arched up against him.

"Harry, are you…? Is this…?"

"I'm sure," Harry answered. "I want you."

Severus carefully plucked Harry's glasses from his face then tossed them to the floor and dove in for a kiss that had Harry wondering if maybe Severus was trying to suck out his soul through his mouth.

If that was the case, he was more than willing to give it up.

Running his hands down Severus' back, nails scratching lightly along the way, he tried to worm his way into Severus' pants. "Fuck, Severus," he said, tugging on his trousers, "Take these off!"

"So demanding," Severus chided, but he had them both stripped bare so quickly that Harry wondered if he was really as drunk as he'd thought.

When their bodies pressed together again and Harry felt the hot pressure of Severus' erection against his thigh, he couldn't hold back his groan. Grabbing Severus' hips to hold him close, Harry thrust against him and he stifled his gasp in Harry's neck.

"Damn, why did we wait so long for this?"

"No idea," Severus answered, panting. "Completely blind."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, pulling Severus' head back so he could kiss him again.

After a few minutes, Severus broke away, chest heaving, breath puffing into Harry's mouth. "Harry," he breathed, "I should warn you. I'm not… I haven't… It's been nearly twenty years."

"That's okay," Harry assured him, running a hand along his side in a hopefully soothing manner. "We're only going to do what you want. What do you want, Severus?"

"I want to taste you."

Harry moaned at the thought. "Works for me," he said, spreading his legs a bit.

"No," Severus said, shaking his head. "Turn over."

"Oh, fuck yes," Harry gasped, scrambling to get on his hands and knees.

"Eager, I see," Severus said, but Harry couldn't respond because then Severus was spreading Harry's cheeks with his hands and nuzzling against his arse, and all he could do was lay his head down on his arms and close his eyes as he pushed back into Severus' face.

At the first swipe of Severus' wet tongue over his hole, Harry let out a cry. In answer, Severus moaned into his flesh. "You like that?" Harry asked, eyes shut tight in pleasure. "You like having my arse in your face? You – oh, fuck! – you like the way I taste?"

Severus pointed his tongue and pushed inside, and Harry groaned. "Oh yes, that's good."

Holding tight to Harry's hips, Severus thrust his tongue in and out, wriggling it around until he just brushed the spot that made Harry keen. Too soon, he pulled back, but Harry couldn't find it in him to protest when he sealed his lips over Harry's opening and, nose pressed hard against his arse, sucked.

"Nngh! Fuck, oh God…"

Then, just when Harry felt the pressure starting to build inside, Severus pulled away. "No, none of – " he panted, "None of that. Not yet." Pressing a kiss to the small of Harry's back, he slid up to lay beside him.

Falling onto his side, Harry turned to face him. His lips were red and swollen, making him look even sexier than normal. "Bastard," Harry said with a smile. "You stopped."

"I did," Severus answered, reaching up to brush his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Was there something else you wanted?" Harry asked, leaning into the touch, ready to give Severus anything he asked for.

"I… I thought perhaps…?"

"What is it?" He nuzzled against Severus' hand, shifting a bit closer to the warmth of the body next to his. "Whatever you want, Severus."

When Severus kissed him, it was slower than before, softer, but it was still so all-consuming that Harry didn't even notice Severus rearranging them until he pulled back for air and found his body nestled atop Severus'. The feel of Severus' skin flush with his was amazing, and he could tell he'd have bruises where Severus' bony frame pressed against him. Merlin, what sharp hips!

"Mmmn," he moaned, nipping at Severus' jaw.

"Fuck me, Harry," Severus whispered, and Harry felt his already pounding heart beat faster. "Please."

"Oh God. Fuck, yes. Where's the lube?"

"You think my grandfather keeps lubricant in his guest rooms? We'll have to use a spell."

Harry chuckled against Severus' collarbone and Summoned his wand from the pile of clothing on the floor. Then, once his fingers were nice and slick, he reached between them. He gave Severus' cock a friendly squeeze, tested the weight of his bollocks in his hand, and finally brushed across Severus' entrance.

He pushed in first one finger, then two, thrusting and twisting and drinking in the sight of Severus' slack jaw and creased brow, the sound of his groans and grunts, the heat of his slight yet solid body.

"Now, Harry," Severus muttered, "Merlin, now!"

Dropping a kiss on Severus' shoulder, Harry sat back between Severus' thighs. "I want to see your face. Is that all right?"

At Severus' jerky nod, Harry looped his arms under Severus' knees, spreading him wide. He paused for a moment, his cock just brushing against Severus' puckered opening, to burn this picture into his mind: Severus sweaty and panting, skin flushed and eyes dilated with pleasure, laid open and eager for Harry's cock.

Slowly, he pushed inside, leaning forward to swallow Severus' gasp and pet his hair. He thrust gently, correcting his angle until he heard Severus moan. "All right?" he asked.

"Harder, Harry," Severus begged, "Make me feel it in my throat."

"Sweet Merlin," Harry breathed, wrapping his hands around Severus' biceps, bracing himself, and picked up his pace.

"Nngh, yes," Severus moaned, locking his ankles around Harry's back. "Fuck! Yes."

"God, oh sweet… Ah, shit, Severus!" Harry babbled, pounding into Severus' pliant body. "Want to… God, want to…"

"Want to do this every day," Severus said as he wrapped a hand around his cock, squeezing and pulling, and Harry felt the first spasms of release wrack Severus' body. "Want to – " he gasped, "to love you…"

It was those words, Harry could admit, more than the rhythmic contractions of Severus' passage around him as his hot seed spurted between them, that pushed him over the edge. He collapsed onto Severus, panting and gasping into Severus' neck, their chests heaving in counterpoint.

"God, that was…"

"Don't… don't move," Severus said. "Would you…? Stay inside me."

"Yes, Severus," Harry breathed, "Anything."

xxx

They woke in a tangle of sticky, sweaty limbs and spent a few silent minutes looking anywhere but each other's eyes before Harry finally ventured, "So, how drunk were you?"

"Somewhat," Severus answered.

"That enough to make you do something you wouldn't normally want to do?"

Finally, Severus looked Harry in the eye. After a long moment, which Harry spent holding his breath, he said, "No."

The air rushed from his lungs in a whoosh. "Well, thank God," Harry said smiling, wrapping his arms around Severus' back. "Thank God."

Severus searched out his lips for a kiss, and Harry didn't even care that they both had awful morning breath. Not enough to pull away, at any rate.

Breaking the kiss, Severus rested his forehead against Harry's. "We should probably head downstairs," he said.

"Yeah, I guess."

They dressed quickly, but not so quickly that they didn't pause to steal glances at each other. Severus caught Harry at it every time and just smirked while Harry blushed.

When they finally made it downstairs, they found just about everyone around the table sipping at their tea.

"Morning!" Harry said cheerfully.

"Morning. Mimsy and Miriam nearly have breakfast ready," Scott informed them.

Malcolm looked at Severus speculatively. "Did you hurt Harry last night? I heard screaming."

Blushing furiously, Harry stammered, "N-no, of course not!"

"You must have dreamt it," Severus said.

Malcolm scowled and Milton sneered at Severus. "Should have known you'd take it up the arse. Did you beg him for it?" Milton asked.

Before Harry could fly off the handle or Severus could die of mortification, Mortimer turned a glare on Milton. "Merlin's sake, son! What the devil is wrong with you? Can't you see they're in love, that they're happy together?"

Severus looked over at Mortimer surprised, then gave him a tiny, grateful smile.

Scott dragged Malcolm out of the room, no doubt worried his brother-in-law would spout more vulgarities. He needn't have been concerned, as Milton stomped out of the room right behind them.

Eileen caught Harry's eye and gave him a very slight nod, somehow managing to convey her sincere, if reluctant, blessing in the gesture. Then she pushed her chair back and stood, saying she was going to lend a hand with breakfast.

Mortimer left, too. "I'll talk some sense into him," he told them, supposedly off to find his son.

Finally realizing they were alone, Harry leaned against Severus' side, amazed that he could miss touching him after just a few minutes. "You okay?" he asked.

"Fine," Severus answered with a sigh.

"Are we, Severus?" Harry ventured softly. "Are we in love? I think we might be, but I could be imagining it."

"You might be," Severus conceded, resting his head against Harry's. "I might be, too."

**FINIS**


End file.
